My Dad

Robert Emmet Burress
November 10, 1929 – April 23, 2012

Dad died a year ago, yet I’m tearing up as I write this.   Though my memories are so fond and happy, my heart still aches when thinking of him.   From heaven, I hope he knows how very much he’s missed.

From our first encounter, Dad had an instrumental impact on my life.    It was clear, I was blessed to have him in my life.    As I progress in life, his example provides me with the resource of what it takes to live life right – although I’m far from successful.    The unconditional love I received from Dad provided me the direction of how I should be with my son, Andrew.    To attempt to describe the most amazing man I’ve ever known in a few paragraphs is unjust to how special he was.     However, I welcome the chance to briefly share about the Dad I love dearly (and if you ever have a few days to spare, ask me to share in detail).

My Dad, Robert (Bob) Burress, lost his battle with Pulmonary Fibrosis on April 23, 2012. Simply put, Dad was every bit a man’s man, while also being the gentlest of gentlemen. Today, his head stone reads, “From your strength came your great gentleness”. His life can easily be summed up in one word – Caretaker.  Not only did Dad help so many, but he always did it with the purest of motives.

Dad lived a long life, 82 years.  At a recent funeral service, the priest said “it doesn’t matter if you are 85, 35, or 125, death is still hard for the survivors”.   And let me just add, sucks!  But, he went on to encourage us to look at it as not an end, but a transition to our true home.  Afterall, that is what life is about.

Dad was a longtime resident of Hartland, Michigan. He was born in Pittsburgh, PA and was raised in Detroit with his six brothers, sons of Homer and Theresia Burress. After graduating from Catholic Central High School and attending the University of Detroit, he enlisted in the US Army and served alongside his brother, Dan, stationed at Fort Knox. He eventually earned a Masters Degree in Foreign Trade from U of D and worked in accounting at Ford Motor before beginning his long career with Bockstanz Brothers in Detroit, where he sold industrial supplies and equipment.

Even as his disease wreaked havoc on his earthly body, he was full of life being part of a good story.   He just loved sharing moments with people, especially those he loved – which was just about everyone.   We all were spoiled by his smile and laughter.

But our knowledge of Dad really began when he was almost 50.   A life-long bachelor up to that point, Dad married our Mom, Fran, and got five kids in the deal.  I’ve always considered my Dad a really smart guy, but I honestly have to question his judgement on that one.  Sadly, Mom died less than two years into their marriage.  At this point, I think most men would had run like hell, but not Dad.   Though we could have been parceled out to relatives, Dad would have none of that.  As my sister Helen always says, he was the savior to widows and orphans.

And that leads me to the most meaningful lesson learned from my Dad.  Unconditional love is not an attribute of birth relationship or blood line, but is a choice.  As he did in many instances in his life, Dad chose to give us kids, “his new family”, unconditional love. When Mom died, he knew very little about raising kids, but he did know everything about what we needed most – love and acceptance.  As Dad shared several times near the end, “our road was not a smooth one, but we did good”.

In sharing about Dad, I would be remiss in not commenting about the most remarkable woman in my Dad’s life, Mairead (Mumzy). Dad chose to make us his family, but Mairead has done so as well.  The two were married on July 4th, 1987 and Dad and Mairead were just a couple months shy of celebrating their 25th wedding anniversary when he passed.  One of our favorite Mairead sayings is, “I brought you into my head, took you all the way down to my feet, and you settled in my heart.”

As mentioned, Dad spent his life caring for others. We find great strength and comfort in knowing that the man who spent his life helping others is now in the hands of Christ – and as he cared for us, God is now caring for him.

I shared the following scripture at Dad’s funeral, it just reminds me of the man my Dad is, was, and will always be in my life:

Philippians 4:8&9:

“Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable – if anything is excellent or praise worthy – think of such things.   Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me – put into practice.   And the God of peace will be with you.”

Bernie